Portland mayoral candidate sues former Rep. Weiner

PORTLAND – A candidate for mayor of Portland is also in a showdown of another sort – a showdown of man-nipples.  Erick Bennett has recently thrust himself repeatedly into the back-end of politics, first by clinching (or is it clenching?) the race for Governor LePage, now by running for mayor of Portland.

However, the race is not without controversy as Bennett claims another has stolen a political advertising tool on which he holds a provisional patent.  When former representative Anthony Weiner got in trouble for posting semi-clothed pictures of himself to social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook, he had no idea of the storm that was brewing. “Posting shirtless pictures of yourself on Facebook for political gain is something I started, ” Bennet said, “and now this dill-hole has to pay.

Bennett's Facebook profile pic

Weiner

As you can see here, the comparisons are astonishing. Since Bennett has been using the shirtless and flasher style pictures for a number of years, legal experts agree that this may be an issue of prior art.

The Maine Gazette asked local male physique expert Lawrence Catrell, who spent alone time with Bennett in jail after Bennett’s conviction for assaulting his wife, to run down the main differences:

“Well look at those areolas first. Erick has those chewy extra large man-reolas that all of us girlsin lockup love so much. And Erick is a bit of a bear with just enough hair on his body to give you something to hang onto. Weiner, on the other hand is shaved fine and his little oval nips. Sure he’s more cut than Erick, but those are show muscles, and I prefer the grow muscles.”

Political opponents were quick to react. “This is just another way for Bennett to get associated with Weiner, he’s always around when somebody mentions Weiner, that guy is just obsessed with Weiner,” said democratic candidate Bliff Huskoon.

When asked for comment, the governor’s office said, “Erick who?”

The Maine Gazette will be following the case of Naked Bennett and Weiner closely for our readers.

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